Current mood:	cranky and pubescent
Current music:	Down By the Water - PJ Harvey
Entry tags:	existential angst

Blog angst
I'd like to think that I'm fairly open to criticism. There's always room for improvement and sometimes you need other people to let you know what you need to work on. What I really can't stand is when people give their criticism without any follow-through or suggestions on how to make things better. Then it's like, Jesus just shut the fuck up before I tear you a new asshole, asshole.

Yesterday at work, this blogger friend YM'ed me out of nowhere to tell me that he thinks No Girly Drama is better than my personal blog. Hmmm talk about double-edged compliments. I was in a semi-bad mood by then and what he said just put me in a bad mood, period. So I asked him, What do you mean? Content or writing style? His extremely helpful reply was: Content and writing style. I waited five minutes for him to qualify that statement and when five minutes passed and said nothing more, I closed the chat window and stomped outside for a smoke.

It occurs to me lately that my "personal" blog (laurganism.com) kind of sucks compared to the other blogs out there. It really is just a personal blog, a dumping site of the shit floating in my head. The trend of personal blogs these days is for them to have a niche, or at least has content that can be "useful" to other people. Unlike most blogs, mine doesn't have a niche. I'm not knowledgeable enough in music, literature, video games, or movies to discuss them in great detail. Gadgets make me sleepy and fashion makes me stupid. I don't have any important political views; hell, I don't have any political views at all. I'm mostly a Renaissance chick, but even that doesn't quite describe me since I don't know enough about everything to focus blogging on anything. In other words, the thought that my personal blog is a waste of internet space has been kind of floating over my head. And my friend just kind of confirmed that with a swift, unexpected kick to the writer's ego.

When people hurt your ego though (intentionally or not), it kind of makes you rethink everything you think about yourself. And you start wondering whether what you had in the first place was self-confidence or if you were just delusional. Yeah I kind of feel like crap, especially since I think I'm a pretty good writer who can come up with entries way better than a lot of those niched blogs out there--in terms of style and grammar. I don't know. To be perfectly honest, I don't think my blog sucks. My weakness is that I don't know what the fuck to blog about. Except myself. And that just makes my blog sound like a sixteen-year old who thinks that the universe still revolves around her.

So...I don't know. Until I can think of a niche to focus on, maybe I'll take a hiatus? Or I could just forget about what my friend said and just keep on blogging about my sometimes-emotionally-pubescent self and saturate the internet with angst. As if the intarnets doesn't have enough of that already. Argh. It used to be that I didn't care about what people think and that I'd rather die than give into the social pressure of following the trend. Perhaps I'm losing my youthful arrogance.